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Prisoner Interrogation File 003 'Spunkmeyer'
Posted by Doyle on 04 Feb 2014 (1265 reads)

...Prisoner was arrested for bringing a locust to a highlander fight. First responding officer has been assigned a councilor to help him deal with the horrors he witnessed... he hasn't stopped crying since. To put the detainee in a compliant state before interview he was forced to sponge bath four octogenarians, a task he took to with much vigour...

Name, rank, and favorite cereal?
S: Spunkmeyer, Field Commander, Serial No A23/TQ6.0.92810E7. No relation to the cookie brand. Yes I know they’re delicious.

What unit are you from?
S: cReddit Mercenary Corporation.

When did you first get into MechWarrior games?
S: First started playing MechWarrior 2 when I was a kid, been hooked ever since! Consequently I have a soft spot for the clans. Don’t tell the freebirths!

What do you love about playing MWO?
S: I really love the pace and strategy. MWO has a good balance of tactical RTS elements and FPS action. The way games progress, first have to out-think your enemy, then you must be efficient at destroying them. The benefits of teamwork far outweigh the efforts of the lone wolf.

What is your favorite mech?
S: I’d have to say the Ilya Muromets [affectionately known as the “Marmoset” in cReddit] loaded with 3 UAC5s and an ER Large Laser.

What is your favorite weapon?
S: The Medium laser! This weapon is the workhorse of the Inner Sphere. I believe that ton for ton, this weapon is a perfect balance between weight, damage, and heat. And at only 1 crit slot, you can shove one anywhere. I even have a few on my Subaru!

What are your favorite colours and camo pattern?
S: cReddit parade colors are white, blue, and orange. The PC Gamer camo is still my favorite, (can I get sponsored?), I just wish they kept updating it for the newer mechs.

What helps you keep going when grinding for experience or C-Bills?
S: I got 99 problems but C-Bills ain't one!

What is your favorite tune to march into battle to?
S: Timothy Seals has been re-scoring parts of the MechWarrior2 soundtrack to great effect. If you haven’t heard his work, I highly recommend it.

What is your favorite non-consumable module?
S: Advanced target info gathering. It helps to quickly assess enemy composition and determine high-threat targets. It’s become more useful now that units are fielding 3 lances at a time instead of two.

Who do you find to be the toughest individual opponent when playing?
S: Even the most seasoned MechWarriors fear good light pilots, and rightfully so. I cut my teeth as a competitive player in a light mech, so I know an effective light lance can make or break a team. I play regularly with exceptional pilots like Aduvio and Wispsy who are from other teams. I just thank my lucky stars when they’re on mine.

What is your proudest moment in a mech?
S: I love those really close games where it comes down to a few crippled mechs slugging it out. I had one match recently in my Shadowhawk; out of AC20 ammo and down to a single ERPPC, I held off two lances before going down myself. I must have downed 6 mechs by the time it was over!

Which type of MRBC engagement do you feel the most confident of winning?
S: Recon in force is our bread and butter. We have a strong light contingent and I feel my men perform best when they are highly mobile.

What is the longest time you sat at your pc for without going to the bathroom?
S: Did know you can buy those astronaut diapers on ebay? No compromises on maximum immersion.

And finally, why did you bring a locust to a highlander fight?
S: Someday it will be a good mech... someday...

...Spunkmeyer, we find you guilty of bringing a locust to a highlander fight. You are sentenced to an immediate toe stubbing, and must change your team's astronaut diapers for 2 months. Take him away...


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